How one hater made me go viral…
Trying to get started on social media can be daunting. Seven months in to my YouTube channel, just a few months of actively posting on Instagram and trying to find my way around TickTock has been a little more than this 51-year-old signed up for. But I’ve got dreams, and want to have a successful YouTube channel to encourage others and share my ride with. I want to model clothes I love and inspire that woman that thinks because she’s 40, 50 or more she’s washed up… that she still has a lot of beauty in her.
I was warned by concerned friends that there would be haters. If you look at almost any YouTube video, the comments can be vile. I told myself I was tough and wouldn’t give a thought to anyone with less than encouraging comments who just didn’t make me feel good about myself. Having spent most of my life struggling with self-esteem, I knew I might take it hard, so I thought I braved myself. I was scrolling through my social media accounts this weekend, smiling at the sweet comments and small but progressive growth, and I saw it. Wait. What? As I naively stared at it, I thought, “well, that’s not awful-but what is he trying to say?” That pic was right in the sun highlighting my chest skin that is certainly not 20 anymore–maybe that was it? Maybe that angle wasn’t the most flattering in that other pic? You probably will laugh and think Trish, “that comment is not so bad!” I guess he could’ve said my nose looked like a donkey, my jaw an orangutan or I had horse teeth. What he actually said though, sent me into a overthinking frenzy and insecurity driven search for what was wrong with me for the rest of the day. “Mostly cute.”
As I looked at this comment from this strange man who came to my page, took the time to look through my profile and offer me his thoughts, I thought, why? Why would you not say anything if you didn’t like what you saw? And secondly, why are you even here? My demographic is mainly ladies who are looking, like me, for ways to be happy, motivated and preserve our youth. While I appreciate the men who are looking for the same, I’m fully aware that some men are on social media to only find one thing. My life changed in 2011 when I married the love of my life who makes me feel like the most beautiful princess in the world every morning, so I’m not into that market. Even when I wake up with 80s looking hair and most likely in need of Colgate, he calls me his bride with a look that says I’m the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. So the fact that this gentleman whose profile suggested to me he was in “that category” came to my page and took the time to write a comment not necessarily complementary, bothered me.
Of course, I thought why should I care? But the more I thought about “mostly cute,” it dug deep and implied….I was almost good enough. I was not quite attractive. Sometimes I was worthy and sometimes I wasn’t? It bred instant insecurity-what did I need to change?? Now to be fair, on one hand, I actually related to the comment on some level. I’ve joked many times that I could never be a true influencer or that perfect model because I’m just not consistently cool. If I’m having the best hair day with the wind bouncing my locks, it’s probably while I’m bebopping into Walmart to buy toilet paper, trip over the cart coral, turn my ankle and plummet to the pavement skinning my knees and ego. It’s a frequently known fact that white shirts & lunch are my nemesis. I am the girl that did my nail color strips last week only to have my big toe glitter piece slide off at a public event. Of course I was wearing toe “show off”sandals. It slid off & showed off alright. Stuck to the top of my sandal, glistening for all to admire its misplaced beauty. Right next to my ugly, empty, discolored big toe nail. Get my drift? Honestly the guy wasn’t far off, ha ha!
What I really want to emphasize though, is how we all should feel worthy! We are created in the image of the ultimate creator! No, we’re not perfect, but in our imperfection lies the ultimate beauty! I went to TikTok and put together a little reel of some of my Instagram modeling pictures coupled with some words describing my recent weight loss and the rude comment incident. I fell asleep as 2 people viewed it. I woke up a few hours later to be shocked that thousands had viewed it & the numbers were spinning like a roulette.
My husband and I laughed all day as it climbed and climbed and climbed. Never did I even fathom that simple, short little video would go viral! Or at least viral to me, because I’ve never had 50,000 people in 24 hours look at anything I’ve done. It blew me away! Over 800 people took the time to send me messages of encouragement and love! What that “gentleman” might have meant as an insult turned out to be one of the best things that’s happened to me in Covid-muck life lately. For every one hater, there’s likely 800 that will pick you up & dust you off. Yes, I may be mostly cute…sometimes cute….sometimes not. Today I’m blogging with my dirty hair and not made up face, but I have a full heart, hundreds of new well wishers & am totally content with being “mostly cute. “. Lesson learned-I’m listening, God 🙂
